(no subject)

[verbminx]

I want fried chicken so badly right now.

and I'm thinking about lots of things. planning. plotting even. nothing to do with fried chicken.

I took a shower and I realized that... I'm never going to be immersed in any particular subculture again. Why? Well, because I'm 25. Old habits die hard, and it's a late age to be a newbie to... whatever. I tend to go out looking, as I've said, either like a Japanese teenager or a pin-up wannabe. I listen to equal parts jazz/swing and alt-rock/synth of the last 20 years or so, with a few other things thrown in, mostly early music. I'm never going to look like a perfect anything (IE swing, rockabilly, punk, etc) girl. Just perfectly me.

and I think this is a good thing. being a newbie in any scene sucks. having an identity that doesn't conform to expected norms in taste is good. having some... complexity, and some surprises in you. i am full of surprises, and secrets even, things i never say here. there are so many things that I know how to do or that I love that I keep to myself. I want to bring them out gradually because I want certain people to think that I am miraculous.

anyway... I am plotting my escape**. It will involve some work and some magic. Keep your fingers crossed for me, knock on wood, lend me your lucky pennies. I will provide what alchemy I can and maybe everything will explode into bloom at just the right time to save me from myself.

but first, fried chicken!

**from florida, dear ones. no need to worry about my material person or sanity. i simply want to make a lot of situational changes in a relatively short time.

Comments

[xp85goblin.livejournal.com]

I think with most people, unless they have unusual sexual tastes and/or are blessed with unusual amounts of energy and time, worry about subcultures less as they get older. Plus, if it wasn't for your condition, your career would be a great big hungry monster consuming your personal resources. Perhaps not unhappily, but those resources wouldn't be available for complex forms of self-expression.

[verbminx.livejournal.com]

yes, I agree. tho there are still plenty of people my age immersed in various scenes, it doesn't seem to last too much past 25. it's just strange to me to see a perfectly normal preppy-sorority looking woman who's into a lot of the same music as me (my hairdresser, in this instance).

anyway, my career plans involve some kinds of complex forms of self-expression, but nonetheless i definitely think you have a point. :)

[xp85goblin.livejournal.com]

It is a lot harder to put a dividing line between yourself and the older generation than it used to be. Firinstance, I know an aging hippy with a Goth daughter. He likes her music and bought several of the albums.

Jobs that offer complex forms of self-expression are hard to come by, and almost always have ample opprotunities to sell your soul and integrity. (My brother is a prematurely cynical architecture student. This is how I know this)