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verbminx(this should probably be friends-only, but i just don't feel like it. lots of little friends-only entries on this in the last day or so, but here's the big updating public entry...)
OK, here is the story to date:
I have arrived home from a drive out to Orlando so that my mother could retrieve the car and the houseguest and Kid. I decided to drive home immediately upon performing the necessary action, so that I wouldn't be too tired to drive. I've been up all night. Meh.
Houseguest is bipolar in a psychotic way - her manic symptoms could easily be mistaken for paranoid schizophrenia. Many of her delusions center on her having a "divine mission." In 1995, my mom visited her up north, and she had gone off her meds. Houseguest was staying up for 48+ hours to scrub floors with a toothbrush, "purging" herself to be prepared for God's Mission, and used several corporate credit accounts belonging to her family business to purchase warehouses from which she planned to feed the poor, because that's what she thought God Wanted. There's more to it than that, but that's a good start. She ended up hospitalized by her family at that point.
One thing I have reminded my mom, in the past, is that you cannot forget that a person you care about is mentally ill, because frankly, people do go off their meds, or meds stop working sometimes. The thing is that you don't necessarily have to attach a value judgment to the mental illness. It's not like "Joe is a bad person, Joan is crazy, Bill drinks too much," it's more like, "Andrea is a brunette. Jake is married. Houseguest is mentally ill." It's just a fact. It is what it is. You can know that someone is 99% insane and two pills away from declaring themselves a god and trying to fly, and still like them and be friends with them and stuff.
Anyway, Houseguest's visit started out fairly normal. But as time went on, she became increasingly odd and obsessed with going to that Holy Land Experience place. There were also plenty of indications from the beginning that, regardless of what she'd said, she was not here to see the momster, but was here to use us as a hotel for her FL vacation. Furthermore, she seemed very uninterested in spending any time whatsoever with her daughter. But it seems that something broke sometime around Wednesday or Thursday. She borrowed the car & cellphone Thursday afternoon to go back out to Orlando, spent all Thursday and Friday sitting around Orlando in hotel rooms, sending Kid to the pool alone to swim, took Kid to Universal on Saturday, and spent all day Sunday at Fake Jerusalem. She'd fasted for two days in preparation for going to Fake Jerusalem. She then simply didn't drive back and sat at a Publix Supermarket near UCF for about, um, at least 8 hours. They were actually supposed to be back here by Saturday night, or Sunday afternoon at the latest; we only attempted to contact her after 9:30 PM Sunday night. She got very pissy that we called her and claimed we were checking up on her. By the time we made the decision to involve the police, around 3:30 AM (she kept hanging up on us, refused to tell us where she was, refused to come back, wouldn't let us talk to Kid, etc), the police were about to pick her up on their own power. Initially they tried to get her to drive back here, but could not even get her to a major road, because she refused to drive with the headlights on. They had her park the car and they took her into a holding station.
When they found her, she had taken all of their belongings out of the car and set them on wet ground. They were not well-packed and I am afraid that some things are soaked through, and some ruined, and most of the ruined or damaged stuff belongs to Kid, for whom I feel very sorry. The sheriff’s deputies who picked her and Kid up repacked the car as best they could, though there were a few small items that I found on the ground (which either would not have been seen in the dark, or which you cannot blame them for missing when dealing with a woman in a near-fugue-state and her frightened 9-year-old daughter). The car's interior is soaking wet and, in some spots, filled with dirt - soil, literally, it looks like potting soil, not the sandy natural soil we have locally. Also the car is stuffed with a noticeable amount of Stuff from Holy Land Experience: mousepad, picture frames, poncho, totebag, snacks, boxes, etc etc. Enough that the deputy who brought her in asked us if she does PR for the place. No, I'm not being sarcastic or facetious.
Anyway, when we arrived at the Sheriff’s holding station, Houseguest was seated, awake but greyfaced and silent and unmoving, against a wall with her eyes closed. Kid was asleep on a nearby set of chairs, under a blanket. We got the car keys from the deputy who'd picked them up & went back to the car, attempting to straighten it out. It's a wreck inside, dirty, but easily fixed with a trip to the car wash. I called![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
hyper_ballad a little too early because I was a few miles away from her & wanted to see if we could manage to have breakfast, but it didn't work out schedulewise. Ended up just driving home in my car, as my mom took her car, filthy as it was, to the sheriff’s substation to pick up Houseguest and Kid for a trip to the airport. I just got home a few minutes ago.
Somewhere in there is the bit where the deputy shows up as we're trying to get the car in order, and tells us that Houseguest was seen at an ATM machine pulling checks out of her checkbook and throwing them around. The last time this woman was having this kind of mixed-state thing going on, she sent me a check for $6.53 because she was convinced that I would need money for after the collapse of society. & when I cashed the check, cos it's impolite not to, I ended up with a returned check fee because she'd closed the account!
NOW HERE'S THE BEST PART:
Houseguest's sister says she's in no condition to fly. We cannot have her hospitalized ourselves, because of the laws concerning the Baker Act: she's supposedly been taking her meds. We think the lithium may be reacting with something prescribed to her for a recent illness. Thus, she is COMING BACK HERE to spend another day & supposedly fly out tomorrow. I said to my mom, "Can't we keep Kid here and put Houseguest in a hotel?" (not really such a bad thing: the hotel I was proposing is about a block away). I am really not not not at all interested in having Houseguest as a houseguest at the moment; she should be under psychiatric hospitalization. But lucky me! Apparently Chez Verbminx is now a de-facto psychiatric hospital!
OK, here is the story to date:
I have arrived home from a drive out to Orlando so that my mother could retrieve the car and the houseguest and Kid. I decided to drive home immediately upon performing the necessary action, so that I wouldn't be too tired to drive. I've been up all night. Meh.
Houseguest is bipolar in a psychotic way - her manic symptoms could easily be mistaken for paranoid schizophrenia. Many of her delusions center on her having a "divine mission." In 1995, my mom visited her up north, and she had gone off her meds. Houseguest was staying up for 48+ hours to scrub floors with a toothbrush, "purging" herself to be prepared for God's Mission, and used several corporate credit accounts belonging to her family business to purchase warehouses from which she planned to feed the poor, because that's what she thought God Wanted. There's more to it than that, but that's a good start. She ended up hospitalized by her family at that point.
One thing I have reminded my mom, in the past, is that you cannot forget that a person you care about is mentally ill, because frankly, people do go off their meds, or meds stop working sometimes. The thing is that you don't necessarily have to attach a value judgment to the mental illness. It's not like "Joe is a bad person, Joan is crazy, Bill drinks too much," it's more like, "Andrea is a brunette. Jake is married. Houseguest is mentally ill." It's just a fact. It is what it is. You can know that someone is 99% insane and two pills away from declaring themselves a god and trying to fly, and still like them and be friends with them and stuff.
Anyway, Houseguest's visit started out fairly normal. But as time went on, she became increasingly odd and obsessed with going to that Holy Land Experience place. There were also plenty of indications from the beginning that, regardless of what she'd said, she was not here to see the momster, but was here to use us as a hotel for her FL vacation. Furthermore, she seemed very uninterested in spending any time whatsoever with her daughter. But it seems that something broke sometime around Wednesday or Thursday. She borrowed the car & cellphone Thursday afternoon to go back out to Orlando, spent all Thursday and Friday sitting around Orlando in hotel rooms, sending Kid to the pool alone to swim, took Kid to Universal on Saturday, and spent all day Sunday at Fake Jerusalem. She'd fasted for two days in preparation for going to Fake Jerusalem. She then simply didn't drive back and sat at a Publix Supermarket near UCF for about, um, at least 8 hours. They were actually supposed to be back here by Saturday night, or Sunday afternoon at the latest; we only attempted to contact her after 9:30 PM Sunday night. She got very pissy that we called her and claimed we were checking up on her. By the time we made the decision to involve the police, around 3:30 AM (she kept hanging up on us, refused to tell us where she was, refused to come back, wouldn't let us talk to Kid, etc), the police were about to pick her up on their own power. Initially they tried to get her to drive back here, but could not even get her to a major road, because she refused to drive with the headlights on. They had her park the car and they took her into a holding station.
When they found her, she had taken all of their belongings out of the car and set them on wet ground. They were not well-packed and I am afraid that some things are soaked through, and some ruined, and most of the ruined or damaged stuff belongs to Kid, for whom I feel very sorry. The sheriff’s deputies who picked her and Kid up repacked the car as best they could, though there were a few small items that I found on the ground (which either would not have been seen in the dark, or which you cannot blame them for missing when dealing with a woman in a near-fugue-state and her frightened 9-year-old daughter). The car's interior is soaking wet and, in some spots, filled with dirt - soil, literally, it looks like potting soil, not the sandy natural soil we have locally. Also the car is stuffed with a noticeable amount of Stuff from Holy Land Experience: mousepad, picture frames, poncho, totebag, snacks, boxes, etc etc. Enough that the deputy who brought her in asked us if she does PR for the place. No, I'm not being sarcastic or facetious.
Anyway, when we arrived at the Sheriff’s holding station, Houseguest was seated, awake but greyfaced and silent and unmoving, against a wall with her eyes closed. Kid was asleep on a nearby set of chairs, under a blanket. We got the car keys from the deputy who'd picked them up & went back to the car, attempting to straighten it out. It's a wreck inside, dirty, but easily fixed with a trip to the car wash. I called
hyper_ballad a little too early because I was a few miles away from her & wanted to see if we could manage to have breakfast, but it didn't work out schedulewise. Ended up just driving home in my car, as my mom took her car, filthy as it was, to the sheriff’s substation to pick up Houseguest and Kid for a trip to the airport. I just got home a few minutes ago.Somewhere in there is the bit where the deputy shows up as we're trying to get the car in order, and tells us that Houseguest was seen at an ATM machine pulling checks out of her checkbook and throwing them around. The last time this woman was having this kind of mixed-state thing going on, she sent me a check for $6.53 because she was convinced that I would need money for after the collapse of society. & when I cashed the check, cos it's impolite not to, I ended up with a returned check fee because she'd closed the account!
NOW HERE'S THE BEST PART:
Houseguest's sister says she's in no condition to fly. We cannot have her hospitalized ourselves, because of the laws concerning the Baker Act: she's supposedly been taking her meds. We think the lithium may be reacting with something prescribed to her for a recent illness. Thus, she is COMING BACK HERE to spend another day & supposedly fly out tomorrow. I said to my mom, "Can't we keep Kid here and put Houseguest in a hotel?" (not really such a bad thing: the hotel I was proposing is about a block away). I am really not not not at all interested in having Houseguest as a houseguest at the moment; she should be under psychiatric hospitalization. But lucky me! Apparently Chez Verbminx is now a de-facto psychiatric hospital!
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no subject
Date: 2003-04-28 07:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-04-28 07:14 am (UTC)i thought the whole thing was pretty entertaining (if tempered by sympathy for Sarah The Kid) until my mom informed me a half hour or so ago that they're COMING BACK HERE. now i think maybe not so funny. i don't really want a person who is in a psychotic state in my house. it's not personal. it's just something i can't deal with.
this woman... my mom knew her sister in HS and sister was our neighbor for a few years when i was around 3 or 4, which was when my mom got to be friends with Houseguest, who is the younger sister of the two. That was when Houseguest was around 19 or 20 and she is now 43. She wasn't diagnosed as bipolar until she was 30. when she was around 21 or so we shared an apartment with her for a few months. every single man in my mother's life, her brothers and various guys she's dated, all think Houseguest is weird and creepy. I don't really know how to explain it; that's never the vibe I've gotten, but I'm assuming adult men would pick up on something I didn't. This is also the same woman who gave my mother this really weird and demanding letter vis a vis their friendship RIGHT after my stepfather died, like, "you haven't really been there for me as a friend". i mean, she can be really, really, nice, super sweet, etc. But often I do not understand why my mom is still friends with her.
Re:
Date: 2003-04-28 07:26 am (UTC)It's not really funny so much as tragic but there is a sick sense of humor lurking in there even with them coming back -- it's just not funny at the moment. You should save this all because it would make a great chapter in a book someday. Seriously.
She sounds like a woman with serious issues (duh!) but it is odd that your mom would continue to be friends with her. Not because she's mentally ill (although that does tend to drive people away) but because she sounds like a drain on her as a friend (even if she wasn't diagnosable).
Again, I'm sorry you have to go through all of this. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that you survive the day or so and get her on a plane outta there. I understand about not wanting to deal -- my cousin is diagnosed bi-polar but probably actually schizophrenic and I can't stand to be around her because it upsets me too much.
Re:
Date: 2003-04-28 07:35 am (UTC)1) Houseguest goes into hospital for psych treatment, observation, stabilization
2) Kid stays with us
3) Elder Sister Of Houseguest comes down to escort Houseguest and Kid back to Ohio when Houseguest is well enough to travel without trying to take over the plane or etc.
but probably we'll just lob them onto an airplane at first opportunity.
and yeah, why do you think i wrote it all down? i mean, you very rarely get to observe the pathology & delusions of an insane person in the throes of insanity if you don't live with them, the ones you know are well-medicated, and you're not a psychiatric care professional. you know i'm good with dealing with garden-variety neurotics - me and almost all of my friends, i have Good Sensible Advice for everything - but I NEVER get to see someone who's actually suffering from serious bizarre delusions. & what is interesting to me is that when in this state, all this stuff makes total logical sense to her. i mean, i know that in her head there is a simple reason for driving on I-95 at 4AM with no headlights, or flinging around blank checks at an ATM.
Re:
Date: 2003-04-28 10:23 am (UTC)My cousin's case was (and still is) heart breaking because her family never dealt with the wherefores and whys - as far as they are concerned, it was a temporary set back like having a cold and once she was on meds the first time, it was all better, right? My mom and I have been able to accurately predict when she would have another break (either through stopping her medication or situations getting so stressful for her that all the meds in the world couldn't stop it). The last time was a year ago right before her brother got married and since he and his wife are expecting a baby in July, another one will be coming soon.
I can't be around her for long not because of lack of empathy but because it hurts so much. She's 2 years my junior, we grew up together and I remember her before the illness set in. Plus my parents spent several years trying to get her help and more than just a fly-by-night psychiatrist who threw pills at her and her family (esp. her mom) undid and sabatoged everything in terms of recovery and continue to do so. Knowing that she could be better than she is or given more sympathy/understanding by her own parents and brother makes me sad.
But yes, in terms of pathology -- it was fascinating to see her when she was in a full-blown schizophrenic state. That's why I can say it's not bi-polar in her case (it was literally textbook symptoms/behaviour). I'm just glad she wasn't violent -- she had been a few other times she had breaks and she's lucky she didn't hurt anyone. My heart goes out to her but there's only so much anyone can do. My heart goes out to you having to deal with all of this right now (trolls be damned -- I know you!).
I am bipolar and you know what? People like you sicken me.
Date: 2003-04-28 08:29 am (UTC)Oh, come on...
Date: 2003-04-28 09:59 am (UTC)Or maybe you just want us all to pretend for you. "Let's make a journal of what I should be thinking in this situation. What would be the thing to say about this that
Re: Oh, come on...
Date: 2003-04-28 10:32 am (UTC)Okay, you're right, I know nothing about the situation or anything else. Maybe that cousin stalks them or signs them up for Ponzi schemes or whatever, but the way that was written really sounds a lot like "oh, ew, crazy, get away from me." Which I've encountered A LOT. INCLUDING FROM MY OWN MOTHER. Maybe I did jump to conclusions, but the sad fact is the majority of people I've encountered have been that way and if people weren't so interested in using the mentally ill as some kind of joke maybe that would be different.
I don't want people to "pretend" for me. You know, you know nothing about MY life, either. I just think maybe people should reserve a tiny bit of sensitivity for what is, for some people, a painful subject. Obviously, I'm wrong.
So, I'm sorry I said anything. Really and truly. Everyone else is allowed to say what they wish about what pisses them off, but I'm not? Why? Nobody wants to hear a differing opinion?
Clearly you just want to "whale" back on me, so I'll just stop here.
Re: Oh, come on...
Date: 2003-04-28 10:48 am (UTC)Re: Oh, come on...
Date: 2003-04-28 02:00 pm (UTC)Re: Oh, come on...
Date: 2003-04-28 02:30 pm (UTC)The bottom line: if you said all this in your own journal and omitted the particulars, not only would it have been legit, you probably would have your friends there showing their support of you. Just more civil all around.
Re: Oh, come on...
Date: 2003-04-28 02:00 pm (UTC)holy personal attack, batman.
Date: 2003-04-28 12:26 pm (UTC)also?
this is hardly the "cowardly" behavior that you claim is in this post.
Re: holy personal attack, batman.
Date: 2003-04-28 02:02 pm (UTC)Re: holy personal attack, batman.
Date: 2003-04-29 01:58 am (UTC)