I have returned!
Dec. 20th, 2001 12:22 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
verbminxIt is important to note that I really don't have much attachment to the LOTR books. I have tried to read them several times and perpetually fallen asleep by the time Bilbo has toddled out of the Shire. However, I have so much exposure-by-osmosis and book-skimming under my belt that I know the story pretty well. Lovely story, boring literary style. People are bitching about condensement here and there, but honestly I think the story benefits from it.
So, here are some of my impressions of The Fellowship of the Ring:
(those of you who want to remain spoiler-free should probably go away.)
1) All Elves are secretly Catholic. (check out the gothic arches and pseudo-Virgin statues! See how Galadriel is Bathed In Mystical Light, and stuff!)
2) Seething homoerotic tension. Uh, I mean, "brotherhood". Hehe. (let's get sweaty, then kiss each other!)
3) "You shall taste MAN-FLESH!" -- *cackle*. (I mean, first of all - cheesy phrasing. Second of all, sounds like a blowjob reference.)
4) Is it wrong to think Gollum is kind of cool?
5) My longstanding crush on Viggo M. is shored up. *sigh*
6) "They're giving away an openly-gay man with hamburgers!" - Armistead Maupin, re Burger King's use of Ian McKellen's image on GWP items.
7) Some of those Orcs are well-known fantasy authors, yanno.
8) There is no Agent Elrond.
9) Pass the weed, man. (JRR Tokin'.)
10) Stop! In the name of Love! Before we break your heart! (just wait for the giant statues if you don't know what I mean.)
11) Sam is Frodo's bitch.
12) Don't spend too much time wondering how the Elves got all that silver stuff if the Dwarves are the miners and they don't like Elves. Your eyes will cross and stick that way.
I'm snide, it's true, but I really liked the movie. I felt it was too long, but the tension was good and the audience in the theater I went to was entirely silent except for a handful of gasps and laughs and a big round of applause at the end. Loved the elf girls - Liv and Cate both excellent. Loved the battle between Gandalf and Saruman. Other than that, I'll leave it to you kids to go see the movie yourselves. & I'm glad to be home.
So, here are some of my impressions of The Fellowship of the Ring:
(those of you who want to remain spoiler-free should probably go away.)
1) All Elves are secretly Catholic. (check out the gothic arches and pseudo-Virgin statues! See how Galadriel is Bathed In Mystical Light, and stuff!)
2) Seething homoerotic tension. Uh, I mean, "brotherhood". Hehe. (let's get sweaty, then kiss each other!)
3) "You shall taste MAN-FLESH!" -- *cackle*. (I mean, first of all - cheesy phrasing. Second of all, sounds like a blowjob reference.)
4) Is it wrong to think Gollum is kind of cool?
5) My longstanding crush on Viggo M. is shored up. *sigh*
6) "They're giving away an openly-gay man with hamburgers!" - Armistead Maupin, re Burger King's use of Ian McKellen's image on GWP items.
7) Some of those Orcs are well-known fantasy authors, yanno.
8) There is no Agent Elrond.
9) Pass the weed, man. (JRR Tokin'.)
10) Stop! In the name of Love! Before we break your heart! (just wait for the giant statues if you don't know what I mean.)
11) Sam is Frodo's bitch.
12) Don't spend too much time wondering how the Elves got all that silver stuff if the Dwarves are the miners and they don't like Elves. Your eyes will cross and stick that way.
I'm snide, it's true, but I really liked the movie. I felt it was too long, but the tension was good and the audience in the theater I went to was entirely silent except for a handful of gasps and laughs and a big round of applause at the end. Loved the elf girls - Liv and Cate both excellent. Loved the battle between Gandalf and Saruman. Other than that, I'll leave it to you kids to go see the movie yourselves. & I'm glad to be home.
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no subject
Date: 2001-12-19 10:08 pm (UTC)Hey, all hobbits are just little dope smoking hippies. They all smoke pipes and eat too much and are happy all the time. I used to piss people off when I played my hobbit character in D&D as a little stoner hippie chick. It was so much fun too. :-)
no subject
Date: 2001-12-19 10:38 pm (UTC)*chortle*
no subject
Date: 2001-12-19 10:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2001-12-19 11:00 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2001-12-20 12:23 am (UTC)Agent Elrond!!
Date: 2001-12-19 10:20 pm (UTC)"How 'bout I give you the finger...and you give me my phone call?"
*laugh*
Better Agent Smith than Mitzi the Married Drag Queen, huh?
I love your list. It's ALL about the weed, man!
LOTR: First Take
Date: 2001-12-20 04:36 pm (UTC)I noticed that in several places!
> 3) "You shall taste MAN-FLESH!" -- *cackle* sounds like a blowjob reference
Mmmm... Say "blowjob" again, sugar... [VBEG]
Re: LOTR: First Take
Date: 2001-12-20 09:05 pm (UTC)