(no subject)

tired. i got about six hours of sleep, and am about to go back to bed. i have a really upset stomach, the kind that makes me wonder if my GI infection is turning into IBS. i have this vision of myself as a cute girl who doesn't smell or spend hours at a time in the bathroom, so the whole thing is kind of traumatic.

it's my birthday... technically, by date, now, but i wasn't born til 832AM, so not really until morning. i'm going to go figure out what dress to wear to dinner, as most of my dresses need minor repairs here-or-there. I elected not to go see SARK tonight, as I wasn't feeling great and I wanted to be well enough to do something on my birthday. had to make a choice, weigh which was more important to me. fabulous sukiyaki & possibly a short trip to sephora won out.

still trying to get stupid rust stains out of accursed sheets. have resorted to soaking sheets in boilinghot water with cream of tartar. may have to resort to purchasing a commercial rust remover. bother.

confused about many things, from top to toe. what i want to do and be. need perspective, need support... it's the same old things. i am happy with some of my changes but others still need more magic behind them.

speaking of, buffy was pretty cool tonight. i bet nobody thought when it was first starting that it would become one of the best shows on tv. i'm not going to say any more because of spoilers, in case anyone hasn't seen it yet. but they've really been on a roll lately, esp in handling character death. & i am a comics and manga girl, so watching what is essentially a very good graphic novel brought to life is always gratifying.

well, this doesn't bode well...

aaaagh! it's my birthday and i have such a bad headache that i haven't even been to sleep yet! :(

however, i have showered, done my nails, and... hopefully sleep will come soon and I can get a good 6 hours before I have to get up and get ready to leave. Or, I can leave a note asking my mom to change the reservation to later. I really wish I were able to do more with the day... that I were just getting up instead of still trying to get to sleep.

I am wearing my sky blue Snoopy chemise that I got at H&M... I've never worn it before. It just has a small Snoopy embroidered on it near one of the straps. I like it!

no matter how much water I drink, it doesn't seem to be enough. i feel so parched the last day or so. the fever is still coming and going. it's low, rarely more than around 100F.

i wrote poetry earlier! bad bad bad poetry. i'll post it to automaticwriter and you can, um, peruse it there. I haven't written any poetry in aaaaages.

on the other hand, it is groovy to see that like half of my friends' entries for today are promoting my advancing age and general good cheer. Thanks guys, you are keen. :)

time heals all wounds, except those he causes...

(this is just an attempt to get down some phrases to save for later use. i blame the others for the rest of it.)

tick
****
you are the one
who makes us run
through streets at 3AM
in nothing but bare feet
(soled with grit and bottle bits)
and the skin of a dead acrylic -
who makes us fall in love,
terribly, with unsuitable
people, and say the wrong things
at just the moments when
you are slow and drowsy...
then you know, we're never happy
with you, we want to hire
someone more efficient, who
works at our pace and not
against it, old daddy, who doesn't
stain and embarrass us,
showing us how to lose
everything, utterly without grace,
someone whose voice isn't like
nails on a cosmic chalkboard.

but then sometimes, after doing
your worst, we come home
and sob into our wretched pillows,
and you cuff us on the shoulder
and say, "daddy'll fix it."

(no subject)

yeah, so i am silly and just accidentally posted my automaticwriter thingy in here. well, there you go.