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Talking to Ragdoll. After I got up today, I sat around staring at walls in a stupor like I normally do for the first hour or so I'm awake, did schoolwork, watched Toonami until the end of Tenchi, went for a walk that felt long but was probably more like 1/2mile or so, ate dinner (which bore a startling similarity to last night's dinner), watched most of Ed, went to the grocery store briefly to pick up a snack, came home, watched Attila, and talked on the phone with AutumnThought for a couple of hours, about a ton of things. Her daughter (who will be 3 in 2 months) steadfastly refused to talk to me, but I could hear her burbling away in the background nonetheless... she meows really adorably.

That's been my day, more or less.

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I have been reading an interesting article that I found on Plastic.com, a forum at The Nation about the "public intellectual" in America. I haven't come anywhere near finishing it, though, because AutumnThought came online and we have been obsessing about self-image (weight, wardrobe, etc).

Right now I am having a lot of problems because... I'm a little over 5'7" tall, I weigh around 140 lbs. I've only ever weighed this much twice in my life... once a few years ago when I was similarly ill, and just after I hit puberty around the age of 12 (I lost that weight partly through the grace of high metabolism, but mostly because I did nothing but ride my bike around my dad's neighborhood the summer between sixth and seventh grade). This is different though, because the last time I weighed this much, I barely noticed... I had long hair and I just felt curvy and feminine.

At the moment, though, I feel sort of lumpen, with my boy-short hair and my cute pajamas and my little belly and soft upper-arms. I want to look cute, and I don't feel too heavy, per se, but I also don't feel very feminine. I am a very girly girl, so this is difficult for me.

So I'm in the market for some cute lingerie... a flirty slip-nightgown or something. We'll see.

I forgot to mention in my last entry that I finally got to use the lime JellyPhone hands-free headset phone tonight. It's pretty cool. It has a little adjustable mike! It reminds me sooo much of back when I used to be a directory-assistance operator, except that the phone is a cute bright clear green thing with one comfortable earpiece, and the directory assistance headphones were much plainer and less comfortable and covered both ears.

I have a song stuck in my head right now (see below). It's not as late as it looks by the time on this thing, really (fast clock), but I need to go to sleep.