(no subject)

Oh. my. I just woke up. Well, about an hour ago. So that is 11 or 12 hours of sleep. I'm going to try to stay up til late in the afternoon; that should set me up well for school all day Tuesday. If I keep this up, I should be sleeping "normal" nighttime hours by the end of the week.

For once, the N-cat was curled up with me when I woke up. I guess he just likes to sleep at night. It was nice... he hasn't curled up with me in ages and I was beginning to get a complex a la "My kitty doesn't love me anymoooooooooore!"

I had strange dreams but I don't remember them well, because they changed a lot. Hotels and dogs (I got a sweet one) and cats and rabbits and horror and soap-operas and violins and plots and my grandparents and some of my cousins and losing my dog and running through streets and going to Target and writing an indignant letter on the pages of a magazine to Bitchface because of something I learned and trying to kiss my sexy underage gay friend who I haven't seen in over a year and getting in a fight with the manager of Target and having to play hockey with chippy bamboo pieces to keep my credit card there - which I won - and meeting Tom Cruise (?) in the parking lot and on and on. More bizarre than usual.

Now I am going to drink some tea and eat some Cheerios and try to get some work done. Mundane, yet necessary.

(no subject)

OK, I have NO CLUE what to do today. Too many possibilities. I'm trying to stay awake until at least 5PM.

I could do laundry so that I could go to the laundromat and dry it when they open.

I could cook, as I still have a loaf of chocolate cherry Williams-Sonoma bread to make and I also need to make that pea soup.

I could continue cleaning my bathroom, or do a combination of bathroom and laundry or something, just to get some of my life in order. I could also clean out my work area in the (totally trashed nobody-goes-into-it) living room, since school is about to start and I'm really going to NEED a work area.

I could just take a shower and lie around and read art history and take notes and watch the two movies which are due back by noon.

In a way I'm really glad school is starting because it will create priorities. Right now I have so many things to do and no real idea of how to prioritize them at all.

(no subject)

I didn't end up doing anything but finishing She Hates My Futon (at least as much of it as there is, so far) and reading poetry on the web and stuff. Took a shower. I'm probably going to run some errands or something. I need to stay up for about nine more hours, and I'm still a little confused about what to fill them with.

"The answers," I tell myself, "are as plain as the nose on your face. You just don't like them." Sometimes my conscience is so damned smirky.

(no subject)

After my last entry I put Erasure's song "Chorus" on the stereo a few times at increasing volumes, which eventually woke my mother up (don't worry, it was her wake-up time anyway; I thought it was a pretty cool "alarm" but whether or not anyone agrees, I suspect, is proportional to how annoying they find the band). The next twenty minutes or so were occupied with dancing around the house... well... I don't really have the energy to dance. But I wiggled and shimmied a bit.

Ate the remainder of my Chicken Scampi from Friday night and watched Loser, which was pretty cute. I don't think I will ever get away with my intellectual pretenses as long as I'm still watching teen comedies.

When the movie ended, and the TV came back on screen, The Joy Luck Club was on and Andrew McCarthy was onscreen, so I did what any hip chick does upon being confronted with Andrew McCarthy: I put my hands up to the side of my head and wailed, "But what about PROM, Blaine? WHAT ABOUT PROM?!?!?!?"

miss crankity crankypants

My tummy hurts and I am in a bad mood.

I watched Boys and Girls earlier. I didn't particularly care for it. It suffers from an atrocious beginning, and being almost exactly like every other romantic comedy the rest of the way through. It had some funny moments, but nothing special or memorable.

I spent a while in bed clutching my poor stomach (which seems to have not liked the chicken scampi reheat), took some loperamide hcl, and got up online, ended up talking to a couple of friends.

i've been feeling mildly disenchanted with one of my friends lately, & been aware enough to recognize it as mostly me being cranky/cynical or insecure. I was miffed by something she did a month ago, and she explained it to her satisfaction and i let it go, but I don't think she realises that whatever her reasons were, it was still hurtful. I'm not still moping about it or anything... in fact, I didn't even say anything about it. It just came to mind after the conversation we just had, which was kind of stop-and-start and awkward because of my mood.

So I let the stuff about me seeing her as mildly so-hip-it-hurts lately go, and the petty stuff, because it's pretty lame of me and I know I'm just being cranky and bitchy. I told her that I had been feeling that way and that it was NOT her, it was just me being lame and I'd get over it.

We did talk about this other friend of hers, though... a girl she seems to hang out with a lot, but doesn't seem to like very much. I asked if she thought that I would actually not get along with this other girl, or if I was just predisposed to dislike her because of all the bad things I had heard. She chose the latter & explained that I just hear the venting & that she does actually like the girl. I tried to gently explain that I didn't think a healthy friendship should need quite that much venting in the first six months or so. (not that they should stop being friends, just that she might want to hang out with this girl a bit less or something.)

Also, my friend and I both disapprove of this girl's use of a "heavy" drug, but at the same time she defends it - "she doesn't use it much" "she doesn't use it around me" "she's not addicted" "if i stopped being friends with people who recreationally use this drug i wouldn't have any" -- and not characterizing the drug as "heavy" until I pointed out that it is, etc. Um, there is no such thing as "recreational" use of this particular drug... it's not heroin, but it is one of those things where you either do it or you don't.

I dunno. I'm trying to seperate this from my innate possessiveness of "my" friends. You can't talk to someone about something like this without them getting defensive, which is natural. & basically I should just keep my nose out of other ppl's business. My friend asked me what my purpose was in that line of conversation, and I wasn't sure either... I mean, I can't say "I don't want you to be friends with this person," -- but I really don't, without being quite able to put my finger on why, and I wanted to know if it was just me, and if she realised that the only things she had to say to me about this ostensibly good friend were... not good. i just don't really understand why they still hang out together.

but yeah. it's not my life, problem, or decision. so i think i am retiring from being a cranky hormonal busybody for the next year or two. (and the world heaves a sigh of relief.)