(no subject)

I tried to post in here last night but the system was having problems and wouldn't let me. I think I slept from about 3-8:30AM. I wanted to sleep longer, but my mom stayed up all night and went out and got groceries and breakfast & I woke up when I heard her putting everything away. So now I am in that strange limbo where I don't feel like I've slept enough but I'm not really sleepy enough to get back to sleep, either. So I woke up two hours early - so what. If I make it through Felicity and go to sleep afterwards, that's fine with me.

So, let's see. Yesterday I killed time around the house by moving stuff around (which is sort of like cleaning only not), doing my nails, taking a shower, getting N's cage ready for his trip to the vet, etc. I called my hairdresser's salon to see if I could get my eyebrows waxed sometime near my haircut Friday afternoon; I can, but it's a little earlier in the day. I could have had it done at 10AM today (to which I did not expect to be able to make it), but I told the receptionist that I've been unwell lately and am trying to avoid morning appointments.

"Oh... are you expecting?" I laughed and said no, and explained some of how I've been feeling lately, the past few months. As it turned out, she had been in a doctor's office a week or two earlier, reading a medical journal with an article about CFIDS... and the office of the doctor who wrote it is in the next town. He's a neurologist who has worked at the Mayo Clinic. I immediately called and made an appointment, though they cannot get me in for about a month. I'm thrilled. They're going to set about getting me some kind of proper diagnosis, since my old doctor was kind of weird and believed that CFIDS was a "cop-out" name for a bunch of things that doctors didn't want to treat (candidiasis, mineral deficiencies, food sensitivities, etc). I might add that my old doctor, who has since passed away, was kind of a quack, but everything he told me to do helped in some way or other. I'm really excited about this new doctor, we'll see how it works out. I'm still going to be going to school next semester too, but I already have most of my assignments.

After that I took N to his checkup. He was unhappy during the car ride and shredded his claws against the airholes in his carrier and cried so piteously that you'd think he was being tortured with red hot irons, but once we got to the vet's, he was an angel. This cat has never been as well-behaved at the vet's before. He came out of his cage and sat peacefully on my lap in the waiting room, didn't bite or scratch the vet or his assistant (both of whom are his regular doctors, and know him), and barely cried during his shots. The cute vet says he has a totally clean bill of health. When we came home I gave him a ton of treats (N, not Dr. David).

After that my mom drove us out to Sam's Club to pick up blank CDRs, and then we stopped a few places, mainly Best Buy (where I picked up the Nightmare Before Christmas: Special Edition DVD, the Cocteau Twins BBC sessions, and a whiny synthpop cd) and Barnes and Noble (where I picked up Francesca Lia Block's The Rose and the Beast and a book of different tarot spreads and had a decaf cafe au lait and a slice of chocolate sponge cake). I might take back the FLB book; depends how good/notgood it is. I don't think I need it in hardcover, but I do like what I have read of it so far. It's short enough that I could have read it in the store if I had been feeling up to it.

After that I came home and... I don't really remember what I did for the rest of the evening. I took a shower. I read. I made some CDs for Ragdoll and Autumn. I slept, but not enough. Now I am left trying to start the day but not really knowing where to go with it. It feels like my ear infection is starting up again. The swelling behind my labret has only gone down a little, so I am going to call the piercer later and also make a new appointment with my usual doctor about my ears (where they will also be able to look at the piercing, I hope).

My joints hurt, and I want some tea. Still working on hooking up that scanner.

That's really all there is to tell.

also

I have forgotten whole sections of what I did yesterday!

While we were out we stopped at a very large furniture store... and looked at just about everything in the store. We want a new livingroom set and my mother needs something different for her bed (a mattress with boxspring was too high and unstable for my stepfather, who was in a wheelchair, so they had a waterbed frame with a normal mattress crammed into it). We want a chair+1/2, with an ottoman, and found a couple of really lovely bright happy sets. When I feel a bit better I might be redecorating the livingroom, before we sell the house. Or not. The front hallway & livingroom, with the pale grey carpet and silver and blue walls and huge mirrors, is really amazing and beautiful, even after all the years we've lived here. It was nice to play on the chaises and flop on the sofas and whatnot. They do still sell some amazingly fussy and ridiculous furniture these days, though.

After that we stopped at Kinko's so my mother could get some copies, but did I bring anything to scan? of course not.

Lovely music playing, and I just had a large cup of Blackberry Sage tea.

(no subject)

i'm wearing a periwinkle blue tshirt and a pair of dark jeans, and scuffing around in my brown slides with black suede straps, sort of faux-birkenstock, only more delicate, my house shoes. my shirt has a deep vneck. i have an irritated labret and am trying to decide whether or not i am too tired to go out.

i am thinking of how i don't have any tattoos and how this is my first non-ear piercing, and my reasons for getting them. i think a labret can be really pretty. i'm worried, though, that at a time (which i think is over but you never know what tricks your psyche is going to play on you)... at a certain time, with the money and ability, i would have gotten all the piercings and tattoos in the world just to prove something. my otherness, maybe my specialness. as an act of alchemy. charlatanism. special is not fashion.

so i'm wearing a plain shirt today, and curling into myself. i feel like a small thing. not in a self-esteem way. more like delicacy, happenstance, helplessness, the big eyes of something that needs to be protected.

can i be my own woodsman and my own wolf at once?

oh. my!

i like chai!

(and i know how to rhyme... why?)

decided on the spur of the moment to make some of the chai i bought last week - maybe because i feel only half awake. tucked in my shirt and dried my hair (rusk wired only makes it feel dirty, though, kitty) and stuck in a barette and made it sufficiently messy in a structured way that it looks "styled". heh.

wandered into the kitchen and used my large betty boop mug, the pink one that has betty in curlers and a fuzzy bathrobe looking much the worse for wear and about to spill her morning dose of happy happy caffeine (damn i miss espresso), with a silhouette of fab-awake-va-va-voom-betty on the wall, as her shadow.

i like my chai weak, with a lot of milk, not a heavy sweet flavor. apparently i am not alone, because i did see "less sweet" chai in the store last week. oregon chai mix is pretty good, so is republic of tea, so is republic of tea's actual chai tea (not a liquid mixer), called republic chai...

this, however, is chocolate chai.

this is sin. sin in a cup.

and damn, does it taste good.

(added some people to the friends list. welcome, friends. talk some, please. sometimes i feel like imploding.)