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Dec. 13th, 2000 03:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
verbminxi'm wearing a periwinkle blue tshirt and a pair of dark jeans, and scuffing around in my brown slides with black suede straps, sort of faux-birkenstock, only more delicate, my house shoes. my shirt has a deep vneck. i have an irritated labret and am trying to decide whether or not i am too tired to go out.
i am thinking of how i don't have any tattoos and how this is my first non-ear piercing, and my reasons for getting them. i think a labret can be really pretty. i'm worried, though, that at a time (which i think is over but you never know what tricks your psyche is going to play on you)... at a certain time, with the money and ability, i would have gotten all the piercings and tattoos in the world just to prove something. my otherness, maybe my specialness. as an act of alchemy. charlatanism. special is not fashion.
so i'm wearing a plain shirt today, and curling into myself. i feel like a small thing. not in a self-esteem way. more like delicacy, happenstance, helplessness, the big eyes of something that needs to be protected.
can i be my own woodsman and my own wolf at once?
i am thinking of how i don't have any tattoos and how this is my first non-ear piercing, and my reasons for getting them. i think a labret can be really pretty. i'm worried, though, that at a time (which i think is over but you never know what tricks your psyche is going to play on you)... at a certain time, with the money and ability, i would have gotten all the piercings and tattoos in the world just to prove something. my otherness, maybe my specialness. as an act of alchemy. charlatanism. special is not fashion.
so i'm wearing a plain shirt today, and curling into myself. i feel like a small thing. not in a self-esteem way. more like delicacy, happenstance, helplessness, the big eyes of something that needs to be protected.
can i be my own woodsman and my own wolf at once?
