worry not!

I must have some kind of troublesome electromagnetic field around me: the iBook (which I've been using while getting the three other computers I've brought back from the brink of terminal illness in the past six months into shape) had some kind of accident on Sunday night and, as I discovered Monday morning, will no longer accept a charge. I don't know if it's a power cord or the outlet on the computer itself that the power cord goes into. Regardless, the iBook is asleep til further notice (& soon to be shipped back to Apple for warranty service) and it has taken me this long to get anything set up. Since I need to get some things I have written off of L's computer, I hooked it up first. I'm not really comfortable with my mom using L's computer (she doesn't understand how it is set up, which is different from hers or mine), but she's been nagging me so I guess she will get to use it. I need to get my desk so that I can have my own system totally set up. It would be nice.

I am sitting on the edge of my bed and the B-cat is asleep (or faking) just behind me. Since I got the labret, I have been unable to be as affectionate as usual with the felines, so they are being more affectionate than usual with me, just to make sure they haven't done anything wrong. As to the labret itself - I'm not sure I'm thrilled with it, honestly. We'll see when I get better jewelry for it, and when I have, then I will be able to decide whether or not it was an expensive disfiguring mistake.

In the past two days I've slept something like 30 or so hours. For instance, Wednesday I woke up really early after about 6 hours of sleep, was up til maybe 5PM, got up at 8:30 to watch Felicity, went to sleep at 2AM, got up at 8:30AM, was up til about noon, went back to sleep, and woke up at 8:30PM. I've been awake ever since. It's annoying.

Some of my books came from Amazon, though not all of them, and I must say that so far WB is striking out in his recommendation of Five Women Who Loved Love, as I've read one of the stories and on that basis want to retitle the collection Five Women Who Needed A Wake-Up Call. It's an ultra-stiff paperback, a translation from the 1950s, you could cut your fingers on the edges of the pages easily. I still have something like ten books coming.

I might or might not be going up to NYC in late December to chill with KittyMalicious, AutumnThought, and Ragdoll. Wouldn't that be swell? The offer has already been made but I need to see how well I am feeling in the next week or so. I don't want to go up there and then do nothing but sleep all week.

I probably have other things to say but none of them is too exciting. Mostly I've been home sick and, sometimes, asleep. I got the course schedule for next semester and may not be as screwed as I thought. We got new silverware, very modern, clean design, the dinner forks are huge. I have been sweating mercilessly under my down comforter but it is also helpful to have - cozier to cuddle in, easier to keep neat. To show my dedication to my invalid lifestyle, I acquired an honest-to-gosh bed desk, with little places for newspapers and a top that you can raise up into a bookstand. The only trouble is that it is this huge wooden thing and "where to put it???" is a serious question.

So, that is where I have been.

(no subject)

I have had a busy past few hours. I commandeered the chair from beside my mother's bed to use in front of the computer. Every night she complains that this chair is not comfortable, but every night she refuses to do anything about it. It's a stackable plastic chair, the kind they sell for patios. It has a blanket and pillow in it, but if I don't get out of it soon my ass will be numb.

I have to go to a Thing tonight that I don't want to go to. The chances of me running into someone I don't want to see (not just one particular someone, but a whole potential list of someones) are decent. I guess I sort of have an old life and I feel like I will have a new life and this is one of several intermediates, and I don't want to see many people from the old. Friends, sure, but only really good friends, not my old voice instructor (who is certainly going to remark on the complete change in hair style and color, as well as the glaringly large silver thing sticking out under my chin, mmhmm). & it also doesn't help that I have been behind the scenes of this type of event before... I know all the songs, I've ushered, I've seen it like four times before. But mother has never been, so I am duty bound to accompany her (no, she doesn't have anyone else she can/will go with, she refuses to see anyone she knows except me, even). Damn it.

I forgot to mention that I called Kitty Wednesday night around 10 and we talked for like two hours. E. went into the bathroom to read his philosophy book. My efforts to stalk Corey Feldman were not unappreciated. I must admit, though, Kitty's LJ popularity is making me jealous! It took me like two months to get as many friends as she currently has, and she gets replies to every entry. Maybe I should self-edit or be a little less of a shut-in.

Oooh, speaking of which, I am not going to the fashion show thingy Saturday night. I don't really feel up to it, plus, I was supposed to go with B. and his work schedule changed and he can't go. Given the dinner theater monstrosity to which I am being dragged tonight (madrigals, anyone?) I don't think I will have the energy to get all dolled up Saturday night. But I think I should drag B. to a club in a week or two. We both need to get out more, we are both becoming bitter old shut-ins because of where we live and family things. I'm sick and he plays Sim City a lot. This is no way to live!

Just now, I am going to run down to McDonald's and grab a breakfast, then do the listeroutine and try to catch some zzz before I have to get up this afternoon and throw on cute presentable clothing.

I sound a lot bitchier and more irritated than I feel. I'm just dreading the madrigal dinner tonight.

(no subject)

Went to McD's, got food that's bad for me (hash brown, egg mcmuffin, hotcakes), came home and washed it all down with orange juice. I haven't had a proper breakfast in at least a week or so.

For some reason, the sound (via WinAmp) isn't working properly on this computer. It's probably something either plugged into the wrong place or not plugged into a place it needs to be plugged in to.

A big keyboard feels so strange after months with the little iBook of luv.

The N-cat is nowhere to be found at the moment, but earlier he was sitting under the chair just behind my feet, playing with my slipper (a mule style) as it flopped off the back of my foot, and keeping my feet warm. Then he used the cord area in the back of the desk to get behind the desk, so I had to squirt him with the water bottle half a dozen times to get him out - and when he came out, it was by wriggling underneath the whole desk. Unsettling. I was worried for him. There is a picture in the new issue of Bust of Gloria Steinem with a cat on her lap, a picture taken roughly thirty years ago, but the cat looks just like N.

I'm frustrated because the computer is set up about two feet from my current bed, and all my things are out of order as a result. I don't want there to be a chair here. Aside from missing friends and research topics, I don't much miss being online when I can't be, I just miss being able to communicate with certain people, but I can call most of them anyways.

I still have 180+ posts to read on my friends list, to catch up. I'll have to do that later tonight or this weekend or something.

For now I think it is time to try to sleep. I've only been up for about 14 hours... well, that's a reasonable day-length for me. But I have to get up around 5:30PM, so I need to catch a falling star now, if I am going to at all.

(no subject)

I still haven't settled my head for my five hours of sleep. But I'm about to.

I just emptied out a mailbox I haven't checked since July - was unable to check. It was my main mailbox at the time but anyone important knew where else to look for me. I got two messages from old high school friends, one of them quite welcome, the other strange.

The strange one was from the Crazy Friend - you know, the person you're friends with most of the time even though they are, well, crazy. This girl took a lot out on me when she was mad about something, because she was hyper-jealous of me at the time. I didn't really keep in touch with her after graduation. She started on heavy psychiatric drugs (which she needed) just after graduation. She'd been kicked out of her own high school across town at the end of junior year, and transferred to mine - I had already known her for some time. She was primarily jealous of me because I had better professional prospects in voice, but honestly - there were rugs that she ripped out from under me, plenty of them. & I worked hard to be nice to her. I don't really know if I want to be in touch with her. The tenor of her message was probably jokey, but it could have been taken another way. I sent her back a jokey message but I really... hm. Even the good friend of mine that she co-opted doesn't have anything to do with her anymore, so the last time I heard any stories of this girl, they were "oh how sad her life has become!" but come on, i still live with my parents and don't have a job or a BA/BFA, so I can't hold any of that against her!

The N-cat wreaths around me, attempting to draw me to the sleepy spot so he can snuggle up. I think he's a smart kitty.

So I just emptied 1800 messages out of one of my mailboxes and hopefully as a result I should be able to get my domain up and running. I was finally able to send in the host change request form. Yay! I hope it works!

I feel very banal today. This week, in fact. I could be extravagant and go for the whole year. Thing is - is saying so low-self-esteem in action or just being realistic? I don't think it makes me a bad person or not worthwhile, but I also know that I'm not the most interesting or productive person in the world right now, and...

bah. Sleep first. Then madrig-hells. Then I come home and either sleep some more or compile the food list of things I need to buy. Then sometime this weekend I will go shopping, so I can severely restrict my diet and hopefully GET BETTER!

yawn & stretch

so, my mother decided that it was terribly important to come in here at 4:30 to read her Travelocity spam, register for sweepstakes, try approximately 100K times to retrieve her password when she doesn't even know her username (and frankly, I think she doesn't have one), and blah blah blah. I never knew that the clicking of a mouse could be so goddamned annoying. I've been awake since then. I'm NOT very happy: you'd think that since I'm getting sleep so I can accompany her to this Thing she wants to go to, she'd let me get it, but nooooo. But I'll try to keep my hostility at a low ebb.

Head hurts. Body hurts. I need to hop in the shower in a few. I need a cup of tea. Who am I kidding? I need to go back to sleep.

I think I had strange dreams but I'm not sure what about. I'm dehydrated and sick to my stomach. Eugh.

I really need to get out of here. How can I get out of here? I don't know... but there has to be something.