and Windy has stormy eyes

[verbminx]

All I have eaten today is a bowl of oatmeal (maple raisin), 3 kosher dill pickle spears, a small container of Yoplait blackberry yogurt, and a glazed donut (which I really should not be eating). My mother went grocery shopping, but by the time she came home I was no longer very hungry anymore (because I'd been hungry for hours!) and instead I went for a ride with her.

We meant to go just up and down the road for ten minutes or so, and drove down into the next county and the bay wildlife sanctuary instead. When we turned around it was on a dark, lonely stretch of highway, and the radio, on an AM easy listening station that had been spouting swank cocktail tunes, suddenly started playing a song that consisted of hearty eerie laughter. There were more stars overhead there than anywhere else around, and the trees were dense and too close. We turned around and came home. We were gone for around 90 minutes. I've been home for over an hour and I'm still not hungry.

I'm in a poor mental state... I know it's just hormonal, but I hate this sense of creeping doom. Like something is about to come crashing down on my head.

I feel bad that lately I haven't been commenting in other people's journals very much. I'm trying very hard to read all my friends pages but since I tend to read 200 entries at once lately, like I did today (and since a website I visited broke my right-click and I can't open replies in a new window), I'm not getting as many comments in as I'd like. I think of things like when I thought it said "Caligula, take me away!" in Pooka's journal (it was Calgon), as well as the bit about Batman's cape being so dusty it was the wrong color. Or the thing about the person hoarding food from their kids in Whorlpool's journal. Or things Internautte and Jamie say, all the time. Vignoche, Absolution, etc. I've been posting more comments to Ana lately than anyone because she's having so much trauma heaped on her head and I'm concerned for her. Anyway, I'm sorry I'm not more communicative. I mean to be. I'm not this self-absorbed. I just leave things unsaid, let inertia suck at my fingertips.

Comments

..

[whorlpool.livejournal.com]

No problem :)

How *shudders to think* does a website break your right click??

Re: ..

[verbminx.livejournal.com]

it was some really lame website... and when i tried to rightclick i got a window that said "this website has disabled this function" or something like that. trouble is, it disabled it not just on that site, but for the entire browser session... and I had the browser open because I was looking at this huge sequence of posters (we have very boring walls, my mom wants to buy some big dramatic ukiyo-e prints for not a lot of money). FINALLY I have ended that browser session and restarted it. blech.

and your thing about the foodhoarding person really gave me the creeps. i mean, like, in the same way that Eraserhead gives me the creeps. the more i thought of it the more distressing it was. go you.

[internautte.livejournal.com]

you know, you're mini-road-trip sounds awesome.
as strange as it sounds,
being in a car, driving down a road, living in the exact same scene you described,
is one of my favorite things to do in the world.
but i live in the city now, and i don't have a car,
so i rarely get a chance to do such things.

your description reminds me of "pink moon" (nick drake) :D

my best friend here has a car, but we're both so busy, we never get to really go anywhere,
every weekend there's something else to do. :/

oh, anyway, don't worry about posting/replying. (i'm happy i got mentioned in someone else's journal, haha. it makes me feel like an LJ rockstar ;) i think that this journal thing really shouldn't be another burden in your life . . . it should just kind of enhance it. so yeah, it's all good.

[internautte.livejournal.com]

stupid, stupid comment, but i meant to say "your road trip."
sorry, i'm grammatically anal. ;P

roads & words

[verbminx.livejournal.com]

we live in a suburban area that isn't really near an urban area... it's just larger and smaller suburbs supporting themselves. the nearest urban stuff is well over an hour away, and that's if you're driving fast. there's a major inlet between here and the next county south, and the nearest "big suburb" like hours is south of that, so there is a lot of... not rural, but just undeveloped seashore stuff there. lots of huge strange beachside houses. some think they're on the Faubourg St-Germain and some think they're the Alhambra. Lots of bushy palmtrees and dry brown fields. so sometimes we go driving down there, because it's the closest we have to a lonely strip of desert highway and an american dream, and sometimes the weather compels that sort of behavior, right? :)

and your entries deserve a response so i feel bad when i've thought of one that i keep to myself! i like the articles. i read salon and plastic on my own - plastic is a good place to pick up new stories, but you usually get them even before they do.

Re: roads & words

[internautte.livejournal.com]

wow, where do you live?

Re: roads & words

[verbminx.livejournal.com]

I live near Cape Canaveral in FL. well, somewhat south of it, but that's the closest landmark. Orlando's outskirts are about an hour northwest of here. technically we're a suburb of them, but all there is between here and there is an hour of farmland! just near the border of the next county south of us is the inlet for the atlantic intracoastal (intercoastal? not sure which) waterway, and a big wildlife preserve. that's where we drove to. i live on a barrier island about 15 minutes or so from "town", tho there are things like grocery stores, banks, fastfood, and so on, on our side of the river.