just plain crazy, hold the poems.
Jan. 20th, 2001 04:54 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
verbminxi just wrote a longish entry and then made it private... because to publicize it, even as "friends-only", would be passive-aggressive in the extreme. long story, maybe to come up later. i feel very distant from a close friend, that's the gist. i can't figure out whether i'm being too needy or it's all in her lap... probably a bit of both.
it's tiring, i don't deal with these things well or express my feelings effectively enough. i lose people. the people i love most slide through my fingers when i let them disappoint me and hurt me so much that i can't stand the sight of them anymore. but i want to fight for this one. it's not that bad right now, i don't want it to get bad.
thunder here. i'm so tired and disoriented that i feel like i'm hanging above the screen and it's a perfectly flat surface beneath me. the n-cat is hiding; the storm scares him.
poemcrazy has you becoming one with nature pretty early on.
i hate nature.
i mean, i like a walk in green springy grass as much as anyone, and i used to go on lengthy woodhikexplorations with my stepmother when i was 9 or 10 years old and hardier than i am now, splashing through wide creeks and climbing steep dirt paths. but i'm not interested in writing poetry about it. i suppose rather than hating nature i actually hate "nature poetry". mostly. maybe.
(it all sounds so tyler durden: "fuck snow! fuck cute little birds! fuck creeks and fuck goddamn TADPOLES!")
but you know what i mean. right?
it's tiring, i don't deal with these things well or express my feelings effectively enough. i lose people. the people i love most slide through my fingers when i let them disappoint me and hurt me so much that i can't stand the sight of them anymore. but i want to fight for this one. it's not that bad right now, i don't want it to get bad.
thunder here. i'm so tired and disoriented that i feel like i'm hanging above the screen and it's a perfectly flat surface beneath me. the n-cat is hiding; the storm scares him.
poemcrazy has you becoming one with nature pretty early on.
i hate nature.
i mean, i like a walk in green springy grass as much as anyone, and i used to go on lengthy woodhikexplorations with my stepmother when i was 9 or 10 years old and hardier than i am now, splashing through wide creeks and climbing steep dirt paths. but i'm not interested in writing poetry about it. i suppose rather than hating nature i actually hate "nature poetry". mostly. maybe.
(it all sounds so tyler durden: "fuck snow! fuck cute little birds! fuck creeks and fuck goddamn TADPOLES!")
but you know what i mean. right?
