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I went out after all, when the rain slowed down. faster than you can say jack robinson i was in my red gator-skin-print pants and the cute shirt T. got me for my birthday (of which I should really take pictures someday soon, I suppose). Every pair of shoes I tried to wear had cat vomit on them, so I lurched around glaring for a while and finally found a pair that were relatively unsullied. Ew. (anyone who has cats knows that it's much easier to let the vomit dry before you clean it up. wet vomit is a bitch to clean.)

Went up to the bookstore, drank tea, was restrained and only bought Juxtapoz and the New Yorker fiction issue. There's a contest in Juxt wherein one creates a meat-related artwork in the hopes of winning a copy of Mark Ryden's new book. Fuck yeah. They give you until 8/1. I won't win - my draftsmanship is pretty poor, especially in comparison with that of all the other fine readers of that august publication. But entering will be fun.

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OK, we know that I don't know yet what the next book I read will be.

but what are you reading right now?

well, punk? what is it?

Webby Award for LiveJournal!

Hey, don't you guys think LJ deserves to win a Webby Award for People's Voice? I do!

You can vote HERE, but you do have to register first. Right now LJ is a leading write-in for the Community and Personal Site awards, but its percentages are well-below the listed candidates. You will have to vote for it as a write-in candidate. There may be other People's Voice Awards it's up for, but I haven't come across them yet, and those two categories seem the most appropriate.

If you agree with me, you can post the link and info in your journal to let your friends know! Pass the word around... voting ends July 4th!

lingo, part 1 (or, why Monty Python will never hire me.)

So here are some bits of lingo peculiar to my environs. Some have been pinched from other places, in which case I'll fess up.

moose, verb. To be pushy or ever-present. To consume space, unintentional physical intimidation. Usage: When Bob kept trying to take over the sink while I was washing dishes, I said, "Stop moosing me!"

moosey, adj. Used to describe one who mooses, or is bossy or forcefully takes up a lot of space. Usage: "You're so moosey! Come on, stop trying to push me off the sofa!"

ass fever, noun. A dread disease of unknown provenance and symptoms. Provokes endless tearful laughter and giggling. Similar to cooties. Usage: "Get away from me! I don't want to catch your... ass fever!!!" "Is this towel clean? It doesn't carry ass fever, does it?" The phrase is always said with meaningful emphasis.

le chat est sur la chaise. le souris est en dessous de la table... French for "the cat is on the chair. The mouse is under the table." Coined by Eddie Izzard to describe the uselessness of most foreign language education. Closer to home, used to end a pause in conversation, or to break the ice.

tiny wooden hands, idiom. Stolen directly from Squishy, referring to a backscratcher with a tiny wooden hand on the end. Another phrase certain to provoke giggles, but used in no particular circumstance and for no particular reason. Often pops up in stores when confronted with hand-shaped goods.

harbor[ing] secret worries, idiom. From a natural cat health book, describing the cause of a health problem suffered by the B-cat. "They often harbor secret worries..." Phrasing was found to be unbearably hilarious. Now used similarly to "What's your damage?" or "Are you OK?"... to wit, "Are you harboring secret worries again?" Another phrase which is always used in a meaningful tone. Also, if someone is unwell or moody, they may be described thus: "Oh, it's just his secret worries," or, "SECRET WORRIES MUCH???"

yeah, I think that's about enough for today.