Mar. 7th, 2001

holy poit!

Mar. 7th, 2001 06:36 am
it is COLD! the sky is grey and nasty, the wind is tossing the trees around, and little did I know that the heat had been off all night!

I put on my super-warm fleecey robe and turned the heat on and am making hot cocoa, since I couldn't sleep (too, yanno, cold).

I have the hiccups!

I'm super-tired but I want to sit with my hot cocoa and read something. There will be some kind of compromise.

*hic*

song survey

Mar. 7th, 2001 06:52 am
I stole this from Hilderbee. The idea is that you can only answer it with stuff from songs. Excuse the occasional misquote.

Who Are You?

"black chariot for the red-haired dancing girl" - tori amos

"i'm a creep... i'm a weirdo..." - radiohead

"i'm a fountain of blood, my love, in the shape of a girl..." - bjork

"i know you're a real kookoo" - breeders

"i think i'm paranoid... and complicated..." - garbage

"ingenue... i just don't know what to do..." - mono

"you're the night Lilah... a little girl lost in the woods... you're a folktale, the unexplainable" - morphine

"i'm in love with the world through the eyes of a girl who's still around the morning after..." - elliott smith

"she's a sad tomato... she's three miles of bad road" - REM

"somewhere in a private place she packs a bag for outer space & now she's waiting for the right kind of planet to come" - savage garden

"charlotte sometimes dreams a wall around herself" - the cure

"single girl, i'm so glad to be a single girl..." - lush

"oh, am I still ill?" - the smiths

"i still have my life, and it's a rich one even with mourning, even with grief and sadness. i just have to know how to be in the process of creating things in a better way." - liz fraser / cocteau twins

"almost brave almost pregnant almost in love - VANILLA." - tori

"i'm never the same, never the same girl twice." - supreme beings of leisure

"my heart is a rose" - coil

"lately i'm into circuitry, what it means to be made of you, but not enough for you... I've said it all, so maybe we're a Bliss of another kind" - tori

Where Do You Come From?

"The heart of rock 'n roll is still beatin'... in Cleveland..." - huey lewis and the news

"Cleveland rocks! Cleveland rocks! Cleveland rocks! Cleveland rocks!" - ?

"trudging slowly over wet sand back to the bench where your clothes were stolen... this is the seaside town they forgot to close down..." - morrissey

What Do You Look Like?

"my crush with eyeliner..." - rem

"little girl with blue eyes, there's a hole in your heart..." - pulp

"pretty in pink" - psychedelic furs

"lips like sugar, sugar kisses..." - echo & the bunnymen

What Do You Want To Be?

"i am un chien andalusia... wanna grow up to be a debaser..." - pixies

"i went out to the forest and caught 100,000 fireflies. as they ricochet round the room, they remind me of your starry eyes." - magnetic fields

"sing your life... any fool can make up words that rhyme! many others do, why don't you? do you want to?" - morrissey

"i am the last of the famous international playboys!" - morrissey

What Can't You Do?

"i smoke because i'm hoping for an early death and i need to cling to something" - the smiths

"with your feet in the air and your head on the ground, try this trick and spin it, yeah" - pixies

"i don't need a support system" - liz phair

"if i could i'd be a star for you" - ana!

"i can't hide you from the government" - kate bush

"i'd make a deal with god and i'd get him to swap our places" - kate bush

"mother, i can feel the soil falling over my head" - the smiths

What Is Love?

"do i know you from somewhere? why do you leave me wanting more? why do all the things i say sound like the stupid things i've said before?" - madonna

"you are wild and i'm in your possession" - rem

"if i should die this very moment i wouldn't fear for i have never known completeness like being here. wrapped in the warmth of you, loving every breath of you... be still my heart this moment, or it might burst. wanna stay right here, til the end of time, til the earth stops turning. wanna love you, til the seas run dry... i found the one i've waited for." - lamb

"i go through all this before you wake up so i can be happier to be safe again with you..." - bjork

"in a room without a door a kiss is not enough for love my way... it's a new road. i follow where my mind goes." - the psychedelic furs

"here is the house where it all happens, those tender moments, under this roof. body and soul come together as we come closer together, and as it happens it happens here in this house." - depeche mode

"i need you now like i needed you then" - OMD

"being what you are, there is no other Troy for you to burn" - sinead o'connor

"can't bear to be in another city, one where you are not." - sinead

"i go BADABADA!BADABADA!BADABADA!BOP! every time you're close to me!" - lamb

"what a gorgeous sight to see you eat in the middle of the night!" - the cure

"i love to wash in your old bathwater, make me feel like i couldn't love another, i can't help it! you're my kind of man!" - no doubt

"when i see you kitten as a cat smitten as that i can't get that small. the way you fur the how you purr it makes me want to paw you all. and when i see you take the same sweet steps you used to take i know i'll keep on holding you with arms so tired i'll never let you slip away..." - the cure

"you are the perfect drug" - NIN

"love is a stranger in an open car
to tempt you in and drive you far away
and i want you
and i want you
and i want you so
it's an obsession

love is a danger of a different kind
to take you away and leave you far behind
and love love love
is a dangerous drug
you have to receive it
and you still can't get enough of the stuff

it's savage and it's cruel
and it shines like destruction
comes in like a flood
and it seems like religion
it's noble and it's brutal
it distorts and deranges
and it wrenches you up
and you're left like a zombie

it's guilt edged glamorous
and sleek by design
you know it's jealous by nature
false and unkind
it's hard and restrained
and it's totally cool
it touches and it teases
as you stumble in the debris"
- the eurythmics

What Is Friendship?

"i'm taking a ride with my best friend... i hope he never lets me down again..." - depeche mode

"we hate it when our friends become successful" - morrissey

"i won't let you down... so please don't give me up..." - george michael

"rest your head, you worry too much... it's gonna be all right... when times get rough you can fall back on us, so don't give up" - peter gabriel / kate bush

"fiona said something nice to me..." - hooverphonic

"bells and footfalls and soldiers and dolls, brothers and lovers she and i were." - tori

"i feel so lucky sometimes... i sit down and i think of all my friends. they mean more than the stupid fools who pass my way..." - lush

Are You Strong?

"if you complain once more, you'll face an army of me" - bjork

"Don't give us no sass, or we'll kick your ass!" - current93

"where i lay my trust in others... where it lies, the ground is thin." - sarah mclachlan

"where do you get the fuck off thinking i was there at the party cause all my friends feed me the evil reasons why you and i should not be friends... let's think this whole thing through... tell me, just what the hell is a lover supposed to do? i got the wrong reaction - a slap in the face from you. this is such a stupid picture. wrap me in a steak. why don't you throw me in the panther cage and maybe then i'll like you better. no WAY!" - liz phair

"there's more than one answer to these questions pointing me in a crooked line" - indigo girls

What Are You Afraid Of?

"ch-ch-ch-ch-CHANGES" - david bowie

"all of your life you've lived in a world as pure as eden's sixth day. now, all you've been allowed is taken away. they will not let you be so proud..." - sarah mclachlan

What Comforts You?

"sleep is a reconciling, a rest that peace begets..." - sense and sensibility soundtrack

"safe at last seeing my thoughts in order... safe fallen down this way, i want to be just what i am..." - liz fraser / cocteau twins

"blossom! commander and the leader! bubbles! she is the joy and the laughter! buttercup! she's the toughest fighter! powerpuffs save the day!" - bis

"why do i have to share my baby with a monkey?" - george michael

"we missed you, hiss the lovecats" - the cure

What Would You Tell The Person Who Loves You?

"Blue canary in the outlet by the lightswitch, who watches over you? Make a little birdhouse in your soul! Not to put too fine a point on it, say I'm the only bee in your bonnet! Make a little birdhouse in your soul... and while you're at it, leave the nightlight on inside the birdhouse in your soul." - they might be giants

"Funny how I find myself in love with you..." - talk talk

"[the sound of Luna Sea's "I For You" playing]"

"I dreamt about you last night and I fell out of bed twice... you can pin and mount me like a butterfly." - the smiths

"just to be with you is the best day of my life." - dido

"It doesn't mean much
it doesn't mean anything at all
the life I've left behind me
is a cold room
I've crossed the last line
from where I can't return
where every step I took in faith betrayed me
and led me from my home

And sweet surrender
is all that I have to give

You take me in
no questions asked
you strip away the ugliness
that surrounds me
Are you an angel
am I already that gone
I only hope that I won't disappoint you
when I'm down here on my knees

And I don't understand
by the touch of your hand
I would be the one to fall"
- sarah mclachlan

"you make me smile with my heart" - rodgers and hart

What Do You Want To Do?

"we can be heroes just for one day" - bowie

"i've got the world on a string, sittin' on a rainbow" - standard

"when i grow up i'll be stable..." - garbage

"i came around to tear your little world apart" - garbage

"read... please..." - the posies

"in time i will collect the world, the eggs and wings of butterflies" - toad the wet sprocket

"digging in the dirt... to open up the places i got hurt" - peter gabriel

Who Do You Love

"been around the world and i can't find my baby..." - lisa stansfield

"i have my friends, my family. i have myself, i still have me." - liz fraser / cocteau twins
awake still and staring, staring...

***star-ing.***

lately i can smell myself. no tragedy, i take a shower every day, just the noticing. (sometimes i can smell things which i don't wish to smell, though.) it's tangy, like a sweet and sour stir-fry. i wanted to be dessert but being a main course is not a bad thing.

i am trying to be scrupulous about personal care. it's easy to let it go when you can be housebound for unpredictable days on end. i don't blow my hair dry if I'm not going anywhere, but I try to maintain a relatively normal routine of brushing my teeth and washing my face and taking showers and lotioning hands and feet, that sort of thing. and lip balm. oh, my love affair. it's kiehl's or philosophy (commanding "kiss me!") or softlips or dirty girl or burts bees or bath and body works cherry vanilla or gap cranberry spice or... i am a lip balm museum. shallow but i hate it when my lips are cracked. sometimes, unbelievably, i don't have any balm at hand and i smear "vaseline creamy formula" on my lips, which works well enough.

i have a bottle full of largeish hospital-green tablets, an uncomfortable laboratory shade. they make me gregarious. i have a bright royal blue plastic box with a knife in it. i put the green pill in the box and when i open the box again it's in two parts, one of which i take. sometimes i wish i had health insurance, then i could take demure pink pills and dispense with the garish little medicinal torture device. poor bisected paxili.

i am having a minor identity crisis lately.

i finished ghost world, and it surprised me how much i identified with enid.

and i looked at the theme i have on this new desktop, this new computer, fast and efficient as it is. it's a corbis theme called "fashion", uses an umbrella for a cursor and minxalicious little winking curious lashy eyes for a wait cursor. but the wallpaper is a picture of a woman shown from the back in a gorgeously tailored coat and a white hat like a conquistador's helmet. she's against a bank of glass doors and pressing on one, with the city just beyond. is it serenity or entrapment?

when i thought about it i was dismayed. but it's fitting.

my world cannot be a 10-ft cube, even with glass doors and lovely things. get ready. i have to we have to get ready be ready find ready let ready come to us so we can shout it's here it's here.

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