(no subject)

I posted in the anxietypanic community a little earlier. Things have escalated.

I'm just... really miserable.

Everything she says to me amounts to pointing out what she sees as my deficiency, but if I say that, it's supposedly something I've decided.

I'm bewildered. I'm lost in this. There is nothing I can do that's right aside from things I'm not capable of doing right now, and even if I were, they wouldn't be enough. They are never enough.

(no subject)

I ended up giving in and taking an Ativan to sleep, which knocked me out until about 5:30 PM.

I let my mom read my last entry (because I was writing it while she was talking and she said "Are you quoting me to one of your friends?")and she got apologetic and conciliatory. Things have calmed down, we should have at least a couple of days of peace, here.

In my illustrator project, I have the basic outlines of everything on the face and head, but no neck or anything yet. I've been using the pencil tool a lot, then going in and deleting unnecessary pen points to smooth out the lines.

I have to go put away New Year's Eve groceries (=goodies!) More later.