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Oct. 7th, 2000 06:40 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
verbminxI'm so tired... my brain quit working a few hours ago. I read a chapter of my book, but couldn't concentrate on much more between my fuzzy brain and tired eyes. But when I turned off the light to sleep, it just didn't come. I'm tired but I can't relax... or maybe I've spent the whole day and night being awake against my will, and now that I want to go to sleep, my body is rebelling. "Huh-uh, I tried to go to sleep and you didn't want me to! If I go to sleep, you're going to do something mean to me!" Recalcitrant physique.
The other day a friend of mine mentioned a mutual friend who I hadn't talked to in a long long time, and I went to his page. Mostly I was distressed to learn that he and his girlfriend, who had been a very "together" couple when I was talking to him, broke up some time ago and he moved (albeit a lot closer to where I might be able to see him from time to time). But reading his diary entries from that time led me to think about the last time he and I were in close contact.
I broke. I was broken. I was a mess. I've only really been that way twice in my life, and never before or since as wallowingly despondent as in that particular period, two years ago. This friend listened to me pour it all out and obsess over it on multiple occasions and was one of the few people who I felt I could count on and who was really supportive.
Of course, in the end, I put myself back together. It took a while. The glue just finished drying not too long ago. I'm sure his glue probably isn't anywhere near dry yet. I wish I could have been there for him when he broke, though. I feel bad that I wasn't. I was just too busy reassembling myself, and fell out of touch with just about everyone who was even peripherally involved with that situation. So *hugs* to him. He doesn't read this, but I am sending good wishes nonetheless.
The other day a friend of mine mentioned a mutual friend who I hadn't talked to in a long long time, and I went to his page. Mostly I was distressed to learn that he and his girlfriend, who had been a very "together" couple when I was talking to him, broke up some time ago and he moved (albeit a lot closer to where I might be able to see him from time to time). But reading his diary entries from that time led me to think about the last time he and I were in close contact.
I broke. I was broken. I was a mess. I've only really been that way twice in my life, and never before or since as wallowingly despondent as in that particular period, two years ago. This friend listened to me pour it all out and obsess over it on multiple occasions and was one of the few people who I felt I could count on and who was really supportive.
Of course, in the end, I put myself back together. It took a while. The glue just finished drying not too long ago. I'm sure his glue probably isn't anywhere near dry yet. I wish I could have been there for him when he broke, though. I feel bad that I wasn't. I was just too busy reassembling myself, and fell out of touch with just about everyone who was even peripherally involved with that situation. So *hugs* to him. He doesn't read this, but I am sending good wishes nonetheless.
