(no subject)

[verbminx]

NYC didn't need rain THAT soon. I realize I said I thought it was needed to clear the air (literally... to get some of the dust out of the air so that people could breathe), but I also said that I hoped it could hold off until everyone who could possibly be rescued alive was recovered. :(

I'm off to the bookstore to get a locking diary for my grandmother. This is the second try... the first one we bought has a broken lock. The aides at her nursing home read her diary the other day... she writes everything down, good or bad... and she got in trouble for something that was misinterpreted (specifically, she referred to an African-American aide as "the black one"). Sigh. This is not as bad as the nursing home she was in before, where an aide dragged her across the floor by her hair because she asked for bathroom help. That diary is being sent to the DA in her area, if we can talk her into it.

Comments

[mizzytizzy.livejournal.com]

oOoOo "the black one" how insulting. silly nursing home people, they should leave her alone, that's stupid, and they should NOT be reading her diary.

The rain is depressing, I see, it's slowing things down, it's raining here too and I can just imagine being out in that trying to dig through the debris.

xoxoxoxoxo

[tinywarrior.livejournal.com]

Talk her into it. I don't know about there, but here elder abuse is a felony.

[verbminx.livejournal.com]

she's in the cleveland area. i don't know what the laws there actually are. & she isn't in the same home anymore where she was dragged by her hair. when she told that aide that she was going to tell, the aide said "yeah, and who do you think they're going to believe?" :(

at the current place, the worst thing seems to be that the aides go through her stuff and read her diary and so on. which still isn't good. my mom wants my uncles to put a nannycam in the room, but i don't think that's legal, because the room isn't their property. i do know that the nursing home is taping the room.

[miabella.livejournal.com]

my grandmother is also in a nursing home. it is very sad. my mother visits her almost daily, it seems, but she is still there, with people who don't love her. (i am 100 miles away but visit when i can.) i hope your grandmother will be treated better from now on.

[verbminx.livejournal.com]

we are like 1000 miles away from my grandmother, who lives in Ohio. she had surgery on mother's day for a hip that had been broken for some time (my grandfather, who A)is an asshole and B)has Parkinson's Disease, refused to believe her for months when she complained of being in pain). she was in the hospital for a while, then in a special recovery hospital, then in a convalescent home, which is the one where she was pulled around by her hair. she went home early because she hated that place so much, and ended up in the hospital the next day because she cannot take care of herself and had laid some stitches open in her foot while either taking off or putting on her shoes. now she's in a different convalescent home. the major thing seems to be that they go through her stuff and read her diary... i don't think anything physical has happened yet. but it's not a good scene to begin with. and decent nursing home care costs $2000+ per month, which nobody can manage, even by pooling resources (it would be like $300/month from each of her kids).

augh. it's just Not Good. and then there are all kinds of problems with my grandfather (Parkinson's, heart and kidney problems, mistress, blah blah blah). and in some ways I feel that they made their own beds, that this is a result of catastrophically bad choices they made. but i still feed really bad for both of them.

Re:

[miabella.livejournal.com]

yes, this is very, very sad. so, who is paying for her care? social security? i feel lucky that at least my grandmother has adequate (but not by much!) resources to keep herself there, and my mom and aunt (her kids) could help. heck, i could help, too, if it came to that. we can only guess what goes on, although the staff at her place seems fairly competent. the problem is, she is just a number to them. i think she likes one of the aides more than the others, but in general, she is pretty unhappy. i wish my mom could keep her at home, but it would be so tough. especially now that they actually diagnosed her with some kind of degenerative disease (related to parkinsons, but without the shaking). she is getting worse little by little. she is so frail. hardly walks, if ever now. is always tired, not awake very much. i really love her and want her to be ok, but she always told me, "it's a pain to grow old." she's not kidding, i suppose. my grandfather has been gone now for 10 years. i can't imagine what that is like... but my mother lives 3 miles away, so she is lucky in that respect. anyhow... it is tough... i want to visit but can't go often. i feel bad, and i feel helpless. there are so few gifts i can give her that would be useful to her. her sense are going, and she has so little help as it is.

thanks for letting me share on this topic. it is tough, and i hope things will get better for your family. : )

[bookfoole.livejournal.com]

If the aide did that to her --he/she did it to others too and will continue to treat patients that way --it should be reported --I'm sure an investigation will come up with other witnesses too.

By the way, be careful --most locking diaries are for children and are easily open (even without the key). I occassionally get them turned in (years later), and they are ridiculously easy to open.

[verbminx.livejournal.com]

on point A - i agree. and i think this aide referred to past allegations against her as proof of how pointless it supposedly was to make any.

on point B - well, the idea isn't really to have a secure locking diary, just something that is a deterrent. I told my mom that i thought it would be better to buy her mother a locking briefcase or something, or even just a cheap backpack with a combination lock. i just think ppl are less likely to try to read something that has a lock on it. and less likely to bother if it's locked.

i have a locking diary that uses tiny luggage locks; the one on it isn't very secure but you could easily add a decent combination lock in the same place. problem is that the locks loop through a little wire latch mechanism, and it's just too hard for an elderly person to handle, because you have to get one tiny loop hooked through another. my mom pulled something out (we are a house full of blank books) and it looks like it will work. lately, though, it seems like with the elastic-banded journals or journals that have a little flap that folds over the edge of the pages and snaps to the front cover, not many locking diaries much larger than palm-sized (IE, the thing for little kids) are even being made.

[bookfoole.livejournal.com]

If there were multiple complaints about this person from severable sources and the nursing home knew about them --then you might be able to go after a civil remedy (if you have the stomach for it --though often, if you aren't asking for much you might get a settlement of some sort). I would also file a police report --numerous independent reports make a pattern --each successive report makes it more difficult to not arrest the individual.