yes, this is very, very sad. so, who is paying for her care? social security? i feel lucky that at least my grandmother has adequate (but not by much!) resources to keep herself there, and my mom and aunt (her kids) could help. heck, i could help, too, if it came to that. we can only guess what goes on, although the staff at her place seems fairly competent. the problem is, she is just a number to them. i think she likes one of the aides more than the others, but in general, she is pretty unhappy. i wish my mom could keep her at home, but it would be so tough. especially now that they actually diagnosed her with some kind of degenerative disease (related to parkinsons, but without the shaking). she is getting worse little by little. she is so frail. hardly walks, if ever now. is always tired, not awake very much. i really love her and want her to be ok, but she always told me, "it's a pain to grow old." she's not kidding, i suppose. my grandfather has been gone now for 10 years. i can't imagine what that is like... but my mother lives 3 miles away, so she is lucky in that respect. anyhow... it is tough... i want to visit but can't go often. i feel bad, and i feel helpless. there are so few gifts i can give her that would be useful to her. her sense are going, and she has so little help as it is.

thanks for letting me share on this topic. it is tough, and i hope things will get better for your family. : )