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(no subject)
Why don't parents seem to grasp that when you're stuck living with them in your mid-twenties through a combination of unavoidable circumstances, it's not easy and it's not fun and it's not a free ride? It's depressing and soul-destroying and you may have "free stuff" but you pay for it in other ways & nobody ever even recognizes it, casting it all in terms of money and submission.
Nobody I've ever known who was in a situation similar to mine has had parents who cottoned to the idea that really, their adult children need to be treated more like roommates and less like children, regardless of whether they could support themselves or not. It's a need for mental health, household peace, and peace of mind (IE sanity, self-esteem, whatever) for the slacker leech in question. It would seem a fairly simple concept, but noooo. My mother thinks that because she has a basic financial chokehold on me she should get to dictate all the details of my personality and behavior. She constantly wants to hear obsequious fawnings of how grateful and lucky I am. I feel like I've sold my soul. I'm nice, I'm not hard to live with, I realize that this doesn't have to be done for me, but I can't think of a single healthy reason that I should bow and scrape.
It's not that I'm ungrateful... it's just that the toll is higher than it needs to be. Why don't parents get that when they behave this way, they are doing as much to us as they are doing "for" us?
Nobody I've ever known who was in a situation similar to mine has had parents who cottoned to the idea that really, their adult children need to be treated more like roommates and less like children, regardless of whether they could support themselves or not. It's a need for mental health, household peace, and peace of mind (IE sanity, self-esteem, whatever) for the slacker leech in question. It would seem a fairly simple concept, but noooo. My mother thinks that because she has a basic financial chokehold on me she should get to dictate all the details of my personality and behavior. She constantly wants to hear obsequious fawnings of how grateful and lucky I am. I feel like I've sold my soul. I'm nice, I'm not hard to live with, I realize that this doesn't have to be done for me, but I can't think of a single healthy reason that I should bow and scrape.
It's not that I'm ungrateful... it's just that the toll is higher than it needs to be. Why don't parents get that when they behave this way, they are doing as much to us as they are doing "for" us?
no subject
My sympathy. I've gone through it, and still go through it on occasion, though it's lessened a bit since I'm now living with family other than my mother.